The constant changes with a COVID-19 pandemic and unsettled feelings of racism made a big dent in our lives. No more vacations. No more get-togethers with family and friends. Also dealing with the politics of wearing a mask. Being scared someone might hurt you because you look different.

The world has changed so much that everyone is feeling anxious and stressed. Cabin fever, fear, frustration, anger, and anxiety is definitely there. As the number of new COVID-19 cases and protests go up so does our anxiety.

Being aware of your own emotional well-being is crucial at this moment. There are so many things you are not able to control. However, there are ways to control how you feel and cope.

When you are feeling stress or overwhelmed. Ask yourself “what emotion am I feeling?” Our immediate defense mechanism is to be in denial and say “I’m okay.” Trying to ignore is a self-protective defense mechanism and makes it an easier way to cope. It’s a temporary band-aid fix. Making the attempt to identify your emotion is a huge step and definitely acknowledge it.

Feelings are emotions. They come and go. When you allow yourself to feel sad, anxious, and angry. That is a warning sign that something is hurting you and need to take some steps to change. Sometimes anxiety and fear can make you feel stuck and hopeless. However, if you start having self-compassion towards yourself and towards the negative feeling. Talk to yourself as you would talk to a close friend.

You cannot please everyone or be perfect all the time. Set the intention to make time for yourself. A lot of times we put priorities in other aspects of our lives such as work and family. Self care us is important. Take a walk, watch your favorite tv show, listen to music that inspires you, go through old pictures, make goals for yourself, and look forward to things.

Think of ways that you can give back that allows you to feel good. Is it volunteering or donations to organizations that you support. Reaching out to family and friends who would appreciate the phone call.

With all the bad things that are going on. Our minds can be cluttered with all the bad things. Write out a gratitude list daily. Write out 5 things you are grateful for and make sure every day you write down 5 new things.

Imagine you are in a huge bubble. And notice what is in the inside and outside. The inside is what you have control over. The outside is the outside world which you cannot really change. Limit how much time you spend on social media and news. Usually, its mostly bad news, and the media focuses on stirring fear and worry. Also, if there are unhealthy and toxic people in your life this is the time to move them far away.

Self-growth is a life long journey. With the extra time, consider starting therapy or counseling. Our mental health is important. Prior to COVID-19, people were feeling rushed with lots of responsibilities and “didn’t have time” to work on themselves. This is the time to do a lot of self-reflection, self-growth, and healing.

I hope these ideas are helpful to survive the 2020 pandemic.

There’s a lot of things we cannot change on the outside but we can change how we cope on the inside.

Know you are not alone and we are in it together.

Jane Pearl Lee Counseling, anxiety therapist in Orange County, Tustin, CA.

Call for a free consultation (949) 771-4461.

My specialties include career driven professionals, caregiver stress, Asian American psychology, anxious teens, and social anxiety.