Do you come home after work and feel anxious because you think you are going to be fired or you are not capable of doing this job and they hired you by mistake? Your head starts drifting to all these different worst case scenarios and you start beating yourself up. Logically, it sounds crazy because you have a degree, years of experience, and excellent performance reviews. But something in your brain makes you feel like you are not capable of doing this job and you are a total failure. You can’t tell anyone because it sounds so crazy and you are embarrassed to share this secret with others. It would be selfish to complain about your own life. You tell yourself “My life is good.”

You feel like an imposter who is going to be exposed and hiding the real hot mess that you are. Life has its challenges but these do not define you as a person. Besides, what is a normal person? If you can’t really define it, then it’s not true. There may be a point in your life where you question what you are doing, you don’t feel happy. You feel irritated, annoyed, you are burnt out, and totally stressed out.

Anxiety is a feeling you feel when you live in the future and are worried about what’s next? You find your head filled up with all these trashy thoughts and fears to a point where you feel like you live in a fog. You might feel drained with no purpose or direction .

These are some of the signs that you are having a lot of stress in your life and need to make some changes. When there isn’t any time to take any time for yourself and it seems like the whole world depends on you. The truth is that you cannot control the world and what is happening outside of your life. You need to make sure you take good care of yourself first to be any good to the world. Today, we live in a world of technology, impatience, and rushing. Sometimes things need to slow down and we need to allow things to happen at their own pace.

If you find yourself moody and irritated these are huge signs you need to take the steps to change your life. The next steps are to make sure you focus on self-care in a self-compassionate way. Are you sleeping well, eating healthy, getting regular exercise and taking time for the things that make you happy? Are you connecting with friends and family?

It’s an interesting situation. Sometimes I find the most competent and intelligent people feel like imposters. The drive can be a combination of good and bad. The good thing is the drive and push to work hard and the discipline to get the work done. The bad things are a lack of belief in one’s self and loss of self confidence to the point of it compromising your work. It creates a feeling of constant insecurity. The constant questioning, comparing, and head trash can be unbearable. It can make you feel hopeless, less motivated, and lack a sense of purpose.

Take out a piece of paper. Reflect to see what is causing the stress. Write it out. Thinking about it makes all the head trash fill your mind. When it is written down you can see what it is and try to better understand what is going on. Is it anxiety? Depression? Stress? Situational? Loss and grief? Sometimes we are going through a personal matter and it impacts our professional work. For example, you are fighting with your partner and you find yourself deep in your work but not being productive. Try your best to be realistic and be a little kinder to yourself.

It’s ok to feel the pain of the hurt and disappointment. It is a normal emotion reacting from a situation. It is super hard and difficult to get to. I find that in anxiety counseling people have difficulty working through their own emotions. It is your mind and body releasing the pain. From there you can start rebuilding and healing yourself.

I tend to avoid saying positive self-talk. Because “staying positive” can make individuals deny their reality or change the narrative to avoid the main issue/ problem. Recognize you are human and everyone makes mistakes. Bad things can happen and it’s not all your fault. You are not that powerful.

It sounds really easy but it can be hard. Making progress takes time and it won’t change overnight. If you had certain patterns for years it will take some time. It’s the process that matters, not the results.

Notice what thoughts are in your head and if they are harsh and negative. Try to evaluate if it’s true and realistic.

I tend to avoid saying positive self-talk. Because “staying positive” can make individuals deny their reality or change the narrative to avoid the main issue/ problem. Recognize you are human and everyone makes mistakes. Bad things can happen and it’s not all your fault. You are not that powerful.

Take a walk, hike, or sit outside for some fresh air. Practice yoga and stretch. Let your mind wander and reflect on the bigger picture.

Write 5 things that you’re grateful for each day.
Make sure you try to write 5 new things every day instead of the same things.

Instead of “I can’t,” say ”I can.”

It’s okay to reach out for help. It doesn’t mean you are weak

There are certain situations where trying to heal on your own can be very difficult and near impossible. It means you are courageous to open yourself up and be vulnerable. I believe making the decision to start anxiety therapy or counseling is a huge step forward.

If you are interested in working through all the crap in your head and ready to seek support, please call me; Jane Pearl Lee, anxiety therapist in Orange County, CA for a free 15 minute consultation.

If you are looking for an anxiety therapist in Orange County, you can read more about how I can help on my website. My specialties include career driven professionals, caregiver stress, Asian American psychology, anxious teens, and social anxiety. I look forward to meeting you and being part of your life changing decision.

If you want more suggestions about self care, check out a video of mine that talks about stress and self care.